An Aphrodesiac Garunteed To Change Your Luck In LoVe

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When I do readings with men who wish that they could get a little more action from their mates in the bedroom, some kiddingly say, “Isn’t there a viagra for women?”

And ladies, you don’t get off so easy. Statistics show that up to 85% of married women are dis-satisfied with their sex lives. How easy it is to throw blame at your partner for your unmet physical needs. What is going on?

Sure, you pore over Oprah and Cosmo searching for how to express your needs, but let me ask a question. Do you know what your partner needs? Are you so busy trying to explain your point of view and get frustrated when your partner tunes you out? Yikes! Then we wonder why our relationships aren’t perfect like they are in the movies.


In the Heart Dynamics™ module of the Master Intuitive Coach® Institute training, I dig deep into this and many other relationship issues. There is nothing that breaks up old resistance and uncovers the Goblin, that wounded part of the ego faster than relationship drama.

There is nothing that cuts to the quick like betrayal. And NO relationship is immune to betrayal. The closer you allow another person to get to you, the more likely it is that your deepest wound will be exposed. I know this sucks but it is the way to freedom. Your Goblin only wants to protect you and as long as it controls the buried memories of your childhood drama and trauma, it wins.

So what’s is a lonely, unfulfilled soulmate to do? If you are looking for the aphrodisiac that will turn the heat back on in your relationship, you won’t find it in your medicine cabinet. If you want your mate to melt in your presence...there is one sure cure. Empathy.

In part 1 and part 2 of this special series on communication, I share the miraculous Intentional Dialogue Process championed by Dr. Harville Hendrix. Why miraculous? If this formerly hard headed and hard hearted gypsy vixen can be transformed to a compassionate and loving communicator and mate...that IS a miracle, a miracle I know Marc is grateful for every day.

When you understand true empathy, instead of seeing your version of your mate’s reality and thus making the conflict all about you, Dr. Hendrix’s process teaches you exactly how to see and feel your partners experience. In order to seal the deal and mix the magic that will light up your partner’s eyes again, the three steps of Mirroring, Validating and now Empathy are just what the doctor ordered.


If empathy is out of reach for your because your partner has screwed up one too many times I have a secret for you. There is a little work you need to do first. Remember, when your partner messes up, your Goblin springs into action. Defensiveness, blaming and shaming flood your mind and the doors of your heart swing shut.

If you are committed to your mate, forgiveness must be part of your game plan. In the popular book, The Forgiving Self, Dr. Robert Karen expresses it this way:

“All sustained relationships depend to some extent on forgiveness. People hurt each other no matter how much love they share, and it's a truism that the greatest hurts are meted out by the closest of intimates.


No friendship, no marriage, no family connections of any kind would last if the silent repairative force of forgiveness were not working almost constantly to counteract the corrosive effects of resentment and bitterness.

Without forgiveness there could be no allowance for human frailty. We would keep moving on, searching for perfect connections with mythical partners who would never hurt or disappoint.

The wish to repair a wounded relationship, whether it takes the form of forgiveness, apology, or some other bridging gesture, is a basic human impulse. The need to forgive may be as strong as the need to be forgiven.”

Once you have forgiven empathy is possible. Empathy, seeing life through your partner’s eyes and purposing to feel what they feel is the final step of the Intentional Dialogue Process after Mirroring and Validating.

When your partner receives the loving intent you hold by choosing the self discipline of this technique, chances are the heat you generate will be the fun kind. There is nothing like Make Up Sex!

Exercise:

Make a one week commitment to practice this Intentional Dialogue Process for a few moments every day. Don’t wait for a conflict. If you practice this in simple conversation, it may feel contrived at first, but go through with it anyway, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the amazing results. And report back on how it’s working for you!