MindScApe Entertainment

MindScApe Entertainment

"Official WebSite"

Joe "J Rag" Rago. HipHop & R&B Recording Artist, Writer, Producer, Arranger, Actor, Model, & Entertainer. J Rag is also Founder, CEO, & President as well as The Executive Producer of MindScApe Entertainment(R). MindScApe Entertainment is a full entity Entertainment Company in Philadelphia, Pa. It is a Record Label complete with Artists & Talent, Writers, Producers, Engineers, and Recording Studio's and Facilities including J Rag's After Dark Studio's & Productions; Also A&R Team, PR, Artist Development, Management, Agents, Brokers, Party & Event Planning & Promotions, Promoters, Street Teams, Marketing, & Much More.....

Philadelphia

Philadelphia
MindScApe Entertainment(R).

"In The Mirror"

"Official J Rag Blog"

MindScApe Entertainment(R). All Rights Reserved. (c)J Rag Publishing(ASCAP).

"In This Life"

Welcome to The Official WebSite for MindScApe Entertainment and The J Rag Blog "In The Mirror".

A look at Music, Entertainment, Trends, Fashion, Entertainment News, Pop Culture, & Luxury LifeStyle.




MindScApe Entertainment

MindScApe Entertainment
(c) J Rag Publishing(ASCAP).

MindScApe Entertainment(R).

MindScApe Entertainment(R).
After Dark Studio's & Productions

MindScApe Entertainment(R).

MindScApe Entertainment(R).
Jazz [of The Legendary R&B Group 'DRU HILL'] with J Rag

J RagTv

J RagTv
StarFire Cigs

"Woofas" (Official Music Video)

J Rag & Jazz in The Studio

J Rag & Jazz in The Studio
J Rag & Jazz of DrU Hill in Studio with 99.3 The Kiss Radio Host DJ Jason E.

Payments & Services

MindScApe Entertainment(R).
Services

J Rag @ Daddy's House

"Love Money InK" [Music Video]

Jon B. Video Drop

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

"If I Was Your Man"

"If I Was Your Man"

"Unforgivable"



The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any

Forget mistakes, Forget failures, Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it.

If you cant fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.....

"Shorty Got Her Eyes On Me"

"Tell Me What You Want?"

"Big Bad Mamma"

I Was Just Thinking......

At the end of the day when all is said and done...usually, more is said than done.

~some will see you as who you used to be, some as who you will never be...then there are those who will always see you for who you are and all you can be~

It`s not our Rise or Fall that defines us , but how we Rise when we Fall...

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.....

Love a person for who they are. You shouldn't want to change them if you truly love them. If you change them, they won't be the same person that you love.

A mistake is an accident. Cheating and lying are not mistakes, they are intentional choices. Stop hiding behind the word "mistake" when you get caught!

Always make your absence felt in such a way that somebody misses you, but don't let your absence be so long, that somebody starts learning to live without you.....

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

"What These Ladies Want From You"

Tell Me What They Want?

Here With Me



In My Eyes. I want you to always be right here with me. Nothing in this world means more to me than you do. You mean the world to me..... You are everything to me.

"Our Love"



Jazz of DrU Hill - "Our LoVe" from The Pretty Brown Eyes SoundTrack

Look for New Music & New Things Coming from Jazz as well as The Legendary R&B Group 'DrU Hill' in 2012 & The Future!! http://www.twitter.com/jazzdruhill

"I Don't Wanna Live WithOut You"

"I Don't Wanna Live WithOut You" [Jazz of DrU Hill]



A New Beginning. I dont wanna live without you, and I dont wanna be without you. Lets start this Lifetime, again and start right here and right now..... You are the love of my life. I could never truly love without you, cause its not the same as when i look into your eyes. You are my everything. My Heart. My Soul. My Life. My World. My Baby. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you......

Looking through Someone's Smile!!




Trust the one who can see these three things in you :
1 - Sorrow behind your smile.
2 - Love behind your anger.
3 - Reason behind your silence.

Love isn't only about feelings, it is about commitment and being there for the other person no matter what happens. It's putting them first before your own needs.... And always being there for them.

Learn From Your Mistakes

"Life, all along the path, is full of lessons, forgotten, taken, learned from, or repeated. But any Road that you end up taking, is the guide to where you are going to end up, and where your future will lie...... Learn from your mistakes!!"

~~ Joe "J Rag" Rago

Our actions of the past should not define who we are today. Our actions of today should help to define who we want to become. Learn from mistakes and move on!!

have the courage to make the change, the strength to see it through and keep the faith that it will turn out for the best......

Check out Jazz of Dru Hill on Twitter @jazzdruhill & on FaceBook [Dru Hill].... To Follow the Movement and see what's coming next!! Check out http://www.facebook.com/#!/jragtv OR http://www.reverbnation.com/jrag

"Never forget how to listen to each other, talk to each other, trust each other, most important love each other and hold each other down through good times and bad.... Never walk away or turn your back on someone that you love or someone that loves you!!"
~~ Joe "J Rag" Rago


Don't let people from your past hold your present hostage and control your future, allow yourself love, laughter and a life, if not,U lose love,laughter,life.

MindScApe Entertainment(R). All Rights Reserved. (c)J Rag Publishing(ASCAP).

Monday, February 27, 2012

A Guy Tip

Guy Tip:

Want to get her in the mood? Have an upbeat conversation with her. Ask her about her day. Listen well. Share details about your day. Keep it positive & don't bring her down with depressing stories. Sharing an uplifting conversation makes her feel valued; strengthens a relationship; fosters emotional intimacy; & makes her want to be with you. Now, go find her & work your charm.

In The Studio with Jazz, DJ Jason E., J Rag, & DJ SkyLine

MindScApe Entertainment(R). All Rights Reserved. (c)J Rag Publishing(ASCAP).







2012 Night in the Studio with J Rag, 99.3 The Kiss Radio Personality & International DJ, DJ Jason E., DJ SkyLine.......

The Official Birthday Bash for Jazz Of Dru Hill




Saturday, April 21st, 2012 in Philly!! J Rag hosts The Official BirthDay Bash for Jazz of The Legendary R&B Group 'Dru Hill'........

Ladies!! Fellas, Models, Actresses, Dancers, Musicians and Artists come out and party with Jazz on his birthday in philly and all eyes will be open that night for the Open casting call auditions for the next Jazz Dru Hill Music Video and other opportunities!!

http://www.facebook.com/#!/jragtv http://www.titter.com/jragmusic

http://www.twitter.com/jazzdruhill

Official Jazz Birthday Bash!!

Tonight was great!! We got alot done and finished up the complete commercial and a drop with Jazz of Dru Hill at South Jersey's #1 DJ, DJ Jason E.'s Studio. And Also the Radio Personality on 99.3fm The Kiss...........

Don't forget about the Party. Official Jazz Birthday Bash here in Philly!! April 21st, 2012

http://www.facebook.com/#!/jragtv

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Men Always Regret Getting Over

"In This Life"

When life looks like its falling apart, It may just be falling into place

Sometimes in the winds of change we find our true direction.....

Have the courage to eliminate the negatives in your life so your positives have a chance to speak!!

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure!!

For More Music by J Rag visit http://www.reverbnation.com/jrag

Friday, February 24, 2012

Somebody Else Has Been Holding You

"What Are We Gonna Do?"

"What Do I Do With The Love?"



"What Do I Do With The Love?"

I can put away the letters and I can hide them in the drawers. I can even forget what, we sent them for... I can take your name out of my book. I can put away the pictures. I can put the dreams aside. But, I just cant seem to, put you out of my mind..... So tell me now.... Tell me what do I do? What do I do with the Love? I can go out every night now and stay out until the dawn. I can do whatever I want to and any time that I want. And I can make believe that We never met.

"The Love We Had Stays On My Mind"



"The Love That We Had Stays On My Mind"

Lately baby, I been thinking. How good it was when you were here..... And My head is clear. And when I wake up in the morning. And I open up my eyes... You meant more to me than I had ever realized.... I been remembering all the good times that e used to share and the memories of you, they are everywhere...... The Love we had stays on my mind......

"OnE GooD ReaSon"



Give me one good reason, why I should stay with you. Our love is like an hour glass and its running out of time. How could you go and do this to me, when you know its messing with my mind? I was there when you needed me, so why cant you see.... I know you say that you love me baby.... But, your friends. They come before me....

I cant explain, Ho all the pleasure it was one day, has all managed to turn into pain..... Love is out of season, then be on your way, cause my eyes are tired of crying, so what are we gonna do? Just please, give me one good reason, why I should still wait for you..... I am tired of trying to please you, when you dont, you just dont appreciate me......

"I Do [Millions Didn't Make It]"

Official Birthday Party for Jazz of Dru Hill

"Ladies & Gentleman, It Is Official!!" The Official BirthDay Party for Jazz of the Legendary R&B Group 'DRu Hill' in Philly!! April 21st, 2012, Saturday!!





Saturday, April 21st, 2012 Come out and Celebrate with Jazz & Special Celebrity Guests & Appearances, and Party All Night!! 8pm-3am!! This is how we do a J Rag Party here in Philly and how we do the Party Right!! LADIES!! ALL THE FLYEST WOMAN IN THE CITY, JERSEY, DELEWARE, NEW YORK, AND ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD IF YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE IT OUT..... DANCERS, MODELS, ACTRESSES.....LADIES!! COME OUT TO PARTY WITH Jazz & Dru Hill for his Birthday & Bring Your Pics, Bios, Resume, Contact Info, all with you. All Eyes will be on you throughout the Night!! Open Casing Call Auditions for SomeOne to be in the Next Jazz with Dru Hill Music Video!!




This is A Night You are not going to want to miss!! Special Celebrity Guest DJ's, & Dj ExeL, Live Performances, and so much more..... It is definatley going down here in Philly on Saturday Night!! April 21st, 2012

I Will SEE YOU THERE!! FOR MORE DETAILS AND INFORMATION VISIT http://www.facebook.com/#!/jragtv or http://www.twitter.com/jazzdruhill

Regret Is Forever

When you find yourself faced with decision to, "go big or go home," just remember..Fear is temporary; Regret is forever!


http://www.reverbnation.com/jrag

"Be Easy {Back Up}" by J Rag

"Be Easy {Back Up}" by J Rag

NEW MUSIC!! Check out New Song by J Rag & Presented by SoundCloud....

"Be Easy {Back Up}" [Produced by J Rag & Lf Daze]

2012 MindScApe Entertainment(R). All Rights Reserved. (c)J Rag Publishing(ASCAP).

Thursday, February 23, 2012

J RagTv Presents: Carl Thomas

The J RagTv NetWork. Behind The Scenes with R&B Singer Carl Thomas

"Mad, Sexy, Cool"



You're such a mad, sexy, cool girl. You dont ever bring no drama to the game and my drama dont be scaring you away......You're such a mad sexy cool girl. how does someone turn into you girl. You dont ever change and you're consistantly that way. I love it that way........

"Sorry For The Stupid Things"

"I'm sorry for the stupid things" Sometimes we wish for the better, when e have it as good as it gets. Sometimes the grass isn't greener, and soon as we find out, we forget......Sometimes a fool, doesnt know he is a fool. sometimes a dog, doesnt know that he's a dog. sometimes i do stupid things that I wish I didnt do, but I do..... Sometimes a girl, is gonna be a girl, and she dont wanna deal with all of the drama in your world. And girl, god knows that I dont mean, to give it to you, so girl, I am sorry for the stupid things I wish I didnt do, but I do.......

"Drama, Love, & Relationships"



It's all about the Drama, the love, and the relationships......

"Grown & Sexy"

"What If......."

What If?



What If.......? What if we were wrong about each other? What if we were really meant to be? What if we were supposed to be together? Would that not mean anything? What if thats supposed to be my house, that you come home to every night? How can you be sure that things are better, if you're not sure that your heart aint still with me? What If...........

"Your Side Of The Bed"

"We Can't Be Friends"

"For The Night"

"Teach Me"

http://youtu.be/Y91jtjvN3NQ "Teach Me"

I was told that the true definition of a man, was to never cry. Supply and provide for my Fam. Be the Rock. Well, Open to Teach Me how I am supposed to love and get my emotions involved......



2012 MindScApe Entertainment(R). The J RagTv NetWork. Philadelphia, Pa

"Who Knows...."

"Half-Crazy"

"LoVe"

"The Realest Thing I Have Ever Wrote"

Let me take a minute to take it to a whole 'Nother Level.... Usually I write on how I feel, facts, opinions, good topics, issues, etc.... All based off of experience or being witness to, or through common knowledge of...... But I continue to get asked, Why is it that You are still Single? And I usually avoid the entire subject, because it is deeper than me being just single..... For the first time, I am actually going to take a little time to touch on it.......

I am still single because, I do respect women, and I dont want to hurt anyone, when I know I am not ready to commit to another woman, because I am still in love with my son's mother.... And still am waiting and trying and hoping that we can work it out and be together. I stayed loyal, dedicated, faithful, to a fault over this past almost 3 years now.... I've heard it all, about I am nuts, crazy, waisting my time. But, I feel, that standing my ground and doing what I believe in still was the best thing I could have done...... It hurts, cause, over the time, I know she has been with other guys, dated, and so forth. But I now am starting to feel stuck. A little betrayed, hurt, and used and taken advantage of....... Whenever she needs something its me she calls, cause she knows I will be there and again, its my fault, because I allow her to do it......

Really, what I think it is, is I am scared that I am going to lose her. And I dont wanna lose her to another man. I dont wanna lose her for good. I honestly Love her with all of my heart and always will. But, I AM still IN-Love with Her..... Now, I have stood by her, because I feel guilty for our son, that we are not together, I dont wanna effect him, or hurt him. I want us to be a family. But e had the baby and she was young, not ready, too young in the mind and I put the blame on myself for that..... And I was young also, so what came along with a pregnant girlfriend at the time, at 22, I wasnt sure of my role, and I wasnt ready either, so I made mistakes that she still to this day, holds against me. NO, I didnt cheat, or anything like that...... I was young, and at the prime of reaching my goal, my dream, and I tried to prove to her and everyone that I could handle giving her all of my time and attention, and love, while spending long working hours in the studio, on promotions, and preparing for my album, recording songs, and I neglected her..... I never meant it. I was trying to be as successful as I could be to make sure they wanted for nothing, but at the same time. She missed out on my time. And in the end, I am the one who missed out. But, I came home every night.....Every night!! By Her side, she is my heart....My Soul.....My Life......My World.....

I just wish that it could end now. How long do I have to pay? There is no feeling in this world, worse than, the feeling of not knowing... And not knowing where you stand with someone..... If you find someone that you know that you really truly love. Just love that person. Do what you have to and do whatever it takes to give that person all of you.... I just want her to realize how much I love her, really, and that I love her more than anyone, and there is nobody that is gonna be there for her the way that I am, and do the things for her that I would, could, and have..... I waited her 3 years without any contact with another woman, and just want her to come home and give me another chance.... I never brought another woman into our relationship or equasion. I am upset that she has. But, it shouldnt have come to this.... But I am ok with giving it all I can to look past that... But, it still breaks my heart...... I Miss Her. More then I could ever try to explain or find a way to put into words..... I dont wanna see my life without her. The Hardest thing I have ever had to Face......

There is a direct look into my soul, through the eyes and Reflection "In The Mirror"



2012 "The Realest Thing I Have Ever Wrote" by J Rag

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

"Don't Change"



My feelings are truly unconditional. No matter how we physically change or if we should gain a little weight. I am still always gonna feel the same. As long as your love doesn't change. Beauty is way more than skin deep. Love can really be the greatest gift in the world......

What Kind Of Man Would I Be?

What If A Woman?



What if a woman, would do all the things that you did? What if she was just like you? What if the table started to turn around? What would you do? Could you handle all that she does? Think about it now!! What if a Woman?

Is is a sign?

If someone is pushing u away, there's a good chance that's when the person needs u the most

There's a difference between having a real relationship and just being together because that's all you're used to...

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

"My Life" with Kilogram & Nino Breeze



"My Life" The Official Music Video

KiloGram featuring: Nino Breeze

A Thorough messege for people to listen to and for the children and younger generations to hold on to....... Live Positive.... Be Positive!!

4 Reasons Not To Date A Co-Worker

Reasons to Avoid Dating a Coworker

When two people are thrown together for long hours at the office and have similar interests, it's easy for romance to bloom. On the other hand, an office romance can get in the way of true professionalism and create trouble for you at the workplace. Office romances are always a dangerous bet, so if you think that your only chance at love is in the workplace, think about the following reasons to avoid mixing business with pleasure:


1. Your work efficiency will be reduced
When the object of your desire is within your view during the work day, your job performance can begin to suffer. Your mind will become so preoccupied with looking for ways to sneak off for romantic interludes that you begin neglecting or delivering low-quality work and end up compromising safety and security aspects. Once that happens, your boss along with your entire department and coworkers could lose confidence in your abilities and lose faith in your dependability.


2. It will lead to office gossip
Once your relationship is exposed in front of your coworkers, your private life won’t be private anymore. Being the subject of office gossip can destroy your chances for promotion and severely harm your professional image. Furthermore, if you gossiped about other coworkers with her or bad-mouthed anyone during your good times together, there's a chance that those comments will come back to haunt you.



3. Breakups could make for a hostile workplace
Let’s face it – most office romances don’t last, and when relationships outside of the workplace fail, the other half of the failed relationship will be in constant company, making the environment very uncomfortable and strained. If she is the instigator of the breakup or decides she wants to be " just friends", jealousy may take its toll on you when you witness her flirting with other employees, going out on lunch dates and moving on with her life without you. On the other hand, if you ended the relationship, she might try making your life hell at work--and possibly try to get you fired.


4. It could lead to a sexual harassment suit against you
When subordinates date and then break up, the possibility of a sexual harassment suit is a real concern. The smiles and occasional glances, flirting, playful jokes, letters and naughty e-mails that were thought to be fun and flirty during the relationship could become evidence against you when dealing with someone who resisted the breakup and subsequently wants to hurt you.

The MetroSexual Man




What is A MetroSexual Man?

The term, "metrosexual," as originally coined, refers to urban, stylish and sophisticated heterosexual men who are in touch with their feminine side, yet secure in their own masculinity. A metrosexual man lives or works in a city, possesses a strong sense of style and concern for his appearance, spends a certain amount of time and money on his lifestyle and has a passion for experiencing the good things in life.

Male vanity and male narcissism are the two fundamental characteristics of metrosexuality. These qualities are encouraged by activities such as shopping for clothes and accessorizing, and because they possess discretionary income, metrosexual men have the ability to stay up to date with the latest hairstyles and the newest threads. Metrosexuals know their men's grooming supplies and manicures, pedicures, facials and exfoliation are all part of their routine.

Metrosexual men catch a lot of flack for caring so much about their appearance; however, metrosexuality is a cultural shift that is considered by many as a new form of masculinity. In fact, look no further than the entertainment industry to find celebrity metrosexuals such as David Beckham, Brad Pitt, and Sean "Puffy" Combs. All these men are as much models as they are sports stars or actors, and they get plenty of female gazes to the many billboards they're on.

Still, metrosexuality has been rejected by most modern men because metrosexual guys tend to display many of the lifestyle tendencies of stereotypically gay men and perform other grooming rituals some consider strictly feminine. On the other hand, metrosexual men can make these same guys jealous of their success with the ladies.

Although traditional manly men have gotten away grooming mistakes such as walking around in holey t-shirts and faded jeans while drinking beer, belching and farting, more and more women prefer men with style and appreciate guys who take care of their appearance, smell nice and look like they have made an effort. Those who date or marry metrosexuals will also agree that they are more well-rounded men that completely and fully understand things that they are interested in, i.e., literature, cinema, art, cooking, interior design, wines and music.

With more and more metrosexuals on the rise, it's clear that less metro men will have to start exerting a little more effort in impressing their women, or risk being left alone.

Monday, February 20, 2012

"In The Mirror" The Reflection



"Relationship is a mirror.. Every moment the other reveals you, exposes you. The closer the relationship, the clearer is the mirror"

Love does not begin & end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.....

Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances......

The more we become aware of who and what we truly are, the fewer problems we have

A man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust anyone else.

~~ By J Rag http://www.twitter.com/jragmusic

"In The Mirror"



Every woman deserves a man who loves and respects her and every man deserves a woman who appreciates his efforts.

In relationships: 1) Don't lie. 2) Don't cheat. 3) Don't make promises you can't keep

When you truly love someone you don't judge them by their past, you accept it and leave it there.

The most precious gift you can give a Woman is the gift of your Love, time and attention.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

"Mr. Too Damn Good"

"In My Songs"

"In My Songs" I wanna dance with you to my songs. Make Love to my songs. Damn its too good, too good to be my songs. Spend quality time, like in my songs. just like my songs, this is our song and lets sing it together. If I could only find the lover i been singing about in my song......I'm tired of waking up with nobody laying next to me.

Friday, February 17, 2012

"One Sweet Day"

"One Sweet Day" Rest In Peace!! Today last Year my GodFather Passed away..... And 5 Years Prior to that the same exact day and time, My Father passed away!! We still think of the both of you each and every day!! We know you are still with us and watching over us!!

"Pass You By"

It's easier said than done, for sure..... But shouldn't let a real love pass you bye..... Hard to come by and so rare to really truly find..... And to live with regret is painful.....

"The Four Season's Of Lonliness"

"I'm Doin' Just Fine"

This is one of the best songs of all time. This is atleast one of my favorite songs of all time. Boys 2 Men is such a great group and great vocalists and talented artists. Not to mention they are from my Town, Philly!! "Doin' Just Fine"

"I'll Make Love To You"

"The King Of Hearts" by Cassie

2012 Brand New Music by BadBoy Record's Recording Artist 'Cassie' & Here is the Brand New Music & Video!! "The King Of Hearts"

"Anytime"

"Ladies' Night" with Dru Hill

Tomorrow Night!! February 18th, 2012 [8pm] @ The Chester Harrah's Casino & RaceTrack!
"Ladies' Night" with The Legendary R&B Group 'DRU HILL'



It Is Finally Here and Finally Time!! I know everybody here in Philly & Deleware is excited and the Sold Out Crowd has been anticipating the Return of The Legendary R&B Group 'DRU HILL'.........Tomorrow Night J Rag & Larry Larr will be in Chester to officially get the Party started at the Dru Hill Show @ The Chester Harrah's Casino & RaceTrack!!

For More Dru Hill Concert Listings, Shows, Events, & Tour Dates visit The Official Dru Hill OnLine @ http://www.druhillonline.com
Also check out Ticket Master @ http://www.ticketmaster.com
http://www.reverbnation.com/jrag & http://www.myspace.com/jragtv

http://www.facebook.com/#!/jragtv & http://www.twitter.com/jragmusic

Johnny Gill on Recording In The Studio

THE HOT 10// Johnny Gill: "I Hate Recording" from Centric TV on Vimeo.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Mike Taylor on MTV

J RagTv: "One On One with Mike Taylor"



J RagTv Presents: A One on one with Mike Taylor "Behind The Scenes"

An Aphrodesiac Garunteed To Change Your Luck In LoVe

Lubes, Viagra, Sex Toys, Champaign, Oysters? Not even close plus, it's free and available tonight.
When I do readings with men who wish that they could get a little more action from their mates in the bedroom, some kiddingly say, “Isn’t there a viagra for women?”

And ladies, you don’t get off so easy. Statistics show that up to 85% of married women are dis-satisfied with their sex lives. How easy it is to throw blame at your partner for your unmet physical needs. What is going on?

Sure, you pore over Oprah and Cosmo searching for how to express your needs, but let me ask a question. Do you know what your partner needs? Are you so busy trying to explain your point of view and get frustrated when your partner tunes you out? Yikes! Then we wonder why our relationships aren’t perfect like they are in the movies.


In the Heart Dynamics™ module of the Master Intuitive Coach® Institute training, I dig deep into this and many other relationship issues. There is nothing that breaks up old resistance and uncovers the Goblin, that wounded part of the ego faster than relationship drama.

There is nothing that cuts to the quick like betrayal. And NO relationship is immune to betrayal. The closer you allow another person to get to you, the more likely it is that your deepest wound will be exposed. I know this sucks but it is the way to freedom. Your Goblin only wants to protect you and as long as it controls the buried memories of your childhood drama and trauma, it wins.

So what’s is a lonely, unfulfilled soulmate to do? If you are looking for the aphrodisiac that will turn the heat back on in your relationship, you won’t find it in your medicine cabinet. If you want your mate to melt in your presence...there is one sure cure. Empathy.

In part 1 and part 2 of this special series on communication, I share the miraculous Intentional Dialogue Process championed by Dr. Harville Hendrix. Why miraculous? If this formerly hard headed and hard hearted gypsy vixen can be transformed to a compassionate and loving communicator and mate...that IS a miracle, a miracle I know Marc is grateful for every day.

When you understand true empathy, instead of seeing your version of your mate’s reality and thus making the conflict all about you, Dr. Hendrix’s process teaches you exactly how to see and feel your partners experience. In order to seal the deal and mix the magic that will light up your partner’s eyes again, the three steps of Mirroring, Validating and now Empathy are just what the doctor ordered.


If empathy is out of reach for your because your partner has screwed up one too many times I have a secret for you. There is a little work you need to do first. Remember, when your partner messes up, your Goblin springs into action. Defensiveness, blaming and shaming flood your mind and the doors of your heart swing shut.

If you are committed to your mate, forgiveness must be part of your game plan. In the popular book, The Forgiving Self, Dr. Robert Karen expresses it this way:

“All sustained relationships depend to some extent on forgiveness. People hurt each other no matter how much love they share, and it's a truism that the greatest hurts are meted out by the closest of intimates.


No friendship, no marriage, no family connections of any kind would last if the silent repairative force of forgiveness were not working almost constantly to counteract the corrosive effects of resentment and bitterness.

Without forgiveness there could be no allowance for human frailty. We would keep moving on, searching for perfect connections with mythical partners who would never hurt or disappoint.

The wish to repair a wounded relationship, whether it takes the form of forgiveness, apology, or some other bridging gesture, is a basic human impulse. The need to forgive may be as strong as the need to be forgiven.”

Once you have forgiven empathy is possible. Empathy, seeing life through your partner’s eyes and purposing to feel what they feel is the final step of the Intentional Dialogue Process after Mirroring and Validating.

When your partner receives the loving intent you hold by choosing the self discipline of this technique, chances are the heat you generate will be the fun kind. There is nothing like Make Up Sex!

Exercise:

Make a one week commitment to practice this Intentional Dialogue Process for a few moments every day. Don’t wait for a conflict. If you practice this in simple conversation, it may feel contrived at first, but go through with it anyway, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the amazing results. And report back on how it’s working for you!

Your Ex Wants Sex!! Is A Booty Call Ever OK?

The temptation to hook up can do you in. Is sex with an ex ever a good idea? 3 Ways To Know for Sure
"I am going to be in town for a couple of days and I would love to see you." the familiar voice said hopefully.

Instantly I am flooded with emotions both good and bad. We had been broken up for a few months and I had been trying to evict him from my mind ever since.

Unbidden, thoughts about him and how hot the sex was, how beautiful I felt when I was with him, how romantic it was to sip wine at sunset, had been running through my mind for weeks. My brief fling with him had been the most fun I'd had in years!


Now here he was, breezing back into my life and inviting me to reconnect. I knew my friends would be shocked that I was even considering it, so I didn't telling anyone he called. There were so many parts of our time together that were very good. Why did we break up anyway?

Does this ring a bell? This exact scenario happened for me several years ago and I chose to say no. It was an excruciating choice because the chemistry was ridiculous. (I would love to know why the wrong men can have such exciting chemistry...just not fair!) This is how it played out.

Gorgeous, exciting ex-flame is visiting my tiny apartment. Candles were lit, jazz was playing and he was doing his best to coax me into bed. "It is important to live in the moment," he said to me, "Do what feels good now."

My new interest in The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle not withstanding, somehow I knew he was pushing his agenda over my lackluster objections.

I was so tempted. He had asked me for a back massage which, of course, I agreed. I loved touching him and what harm could it do? Ha! As I rubbed the oil on his back, he kept gently encouraging me to respond to my natural arousal and seal the deal. What a pickle!

Somehow, in the middle of this highly charged situation, I said to myself first and then to him, "Wait a minute. Just hold up here. I want to think about what is right for me."

I went across the room, sat in a chair, closed my eyes and pleaded with my Inner Wisdom, "Please help me know what to do. I want this man but the red flags are waving madly! What should I do?"

I was hoping I would get a clear YES (dreamer!) or a clear no but what I got was the most amazing and calming answer.

"Whichever choice you make will be fine. You are going to be fine, no matter what."

I laughed outloud and told him what I heard. He laughed too. I am sure he was hoping my Inner Guidance said yes, but he was absolutely wonderful when I told him I decided no. He had made it clear to me that he was not interested in a relationship with me and as much as I wished I could change his mind,

I had to face the truth. Sex would be fun with him but I knew myself too well. I liked him more than that and a booty call would send me into weeks of obsession! Bottom line, I want to be loved more than anything. Love has to be primary.


What about you? Are you facing a similar situation? A dear friend of mine always used to quip "An ex is an ex for a reason" whenever I looked back at my ex-boyfriend. I would say the same to you. But, if you are not sure, here are three questions to ask yourself:

1. Do you feel a heart connection to this man? Do you really? Get quiet and allow the memories of your break up come back to you. On a scale of 1 to 10, how hurt and disappointed were you? If it is 6 or above. Stop for a moment and think about adding another disappointment to the mix. Does that work for you?

2. Are you obsessing about him? If you are, that is a symptom of an out of control mind. If you broke up, there was a reason for that. Jump into a new hobby or get outside and walk a couple of miles a day while listening to a book on tape. Take action to give your thirsty mind something to think about. An obsessive woman is not very attractive, not even to her friends.


3. What do your friends think? Trust your friends. Just like the Sex In The City girls, trust someone to talk to about this. Often your friends can see your situation more clearly. Yes, Carrie and Big got together, but that was a fairy tale. More times than not an ex is an ex for a reason and moving on is your best bet.

If you can't get him out of your mind, don't worry! There are lots of cool ways to occupy your mind while the next candidate comes across your path. Not to sound like my grandma but, there really are a lot of fish in the sea and there is someone out there for you.

If you are spending hours a day mooning over an ex, you sure can't put too much energy into thinking the thoughts that will attract that new man to you. Is that ok with you?

Why Do Men Change After Sex



Why Do Men Change After Sex?

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day!! "My Valentine"

Happy Valentine's Day!! "My Valentine" Make Valentine's Day special this year for the Person that you love.....

"In This Life"

Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.



The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it's all that matters.

We can be bitter about our handicaps or we can be happy about our blessings.

#Guy Tip:
Keep your t-shirts looking fresh and new. Your t-shirts are doing double duty. They are a go-to casual item and look great under a formal shirt. Too often it's easy to overlook that they are turning yellow, fading, or stretching. A well dressed man is a sexy man.

Relationship Tip:
If you are ignoring her/him, someone else may be begging for her/his attention. Always let your partner know (s)he's special

A woman's worst nightmare is when the guy she loves stops doing the things that made her fall in love

A Relationship Tip

Relationship Tip:

Don't let day to day responsibilities & routines drain the sexy out of your life. Your life partner is important. Spend time everyday (even if it's just for a few moments) to show him/her how special (s)he is.

Sexual Tip

Guy Tip:

When you kiss her, move your way slowly, softly towards the side of her neck. Continue downwards to the indent located below her neck. Pause, allowing your hot breath to caress her before you slowly return upwards to her lips. You can thank us later.......

~~ J RagTv, MindScApe Entertainment(R).

A Valentine's Day TiP



Valentine's Day Tip:

Buying lingerie for her is nice, but to really surprise her, try a new twist on a classic gift. Opt instead to buy her one of your favourite buttoned down shirts plus her most-loved Sexual perfume. She'll love the comfort and your thoughtfulness. You'll love her seductive look and scent. Happy Valentine's

8 Gifts That She Will Love [Valentine's Day!!]

What do you get the woman that has it all? Read this article for great ideas.
So your wife or girlfriend’s birthday is coming up, or Christmas is just around the corner and you have hit that mad panic period where you need to get a gift. It needs to be well thought out, inspired, personal, yet appropriate. But she has everything! These days, we have so many ‘things’ and most of us just purchase whatever we want when we want it, so buying gifts has become a colossal task that most of us avoid until the last minute.
If you’ve been racking your brains and come up with nothing, why not consider one of the gifts ideas below. They range from nice to naughty and you’re sure to fund something for every female special someone in your life.

1. Flowers

If you just want something basic that is a gesture, yet still a sign of your love, you can’t beat roses – and you know why? Because giving and receiving flowers is a rarity now that the internet has become such a massive part of our lives and emoticons are the central means for conveying our feelings. If you like the living gift idea but want to go a little further, get something that has longevity. A plant is a great idea as it is symbolic of your relationships – it will grow and flower over time, and she can take care of it as it develops.


2. Jewellery

Little needs to be said with this one, but if you’re stuck for a gift you can’t beat something shiny, delicate and expensive! Think earrings or even a necklace so you can choose a pendant that means something to both of you.

3. Photos
So many of us have piles of photos from nights out and holidays, but none that are really great portraits of us and our loved ones. A photo session for you and your loved one will mean you can have a great time in front of the camera and have a memory that will last a lifetime.

4. Toys

Finally, if things have got a little tired and you haven’t given her the attention she deserves, what about something that will make her bedroom experience more pleasurable than ever. Head online and find some basic sex toys that will increase her satisfaction tenfold and let her know you feel her enjoyment is paramount.

5. A memory

Channel what you know about her to give her something that will leave her in awe of how well you’ve listened. Did she say she always wanted something as a child but never received it, always wanted to go somewhere but never did? Give her a gift that says I know you, and everything you say to me is important.

6. Just for her

If your wife has spent a lot of her time supporting you and your career – why not help her explore a hobby she loved, but gave up to support you. A camera and lessons, telescope or even tarot card reading lessons – choose something she loves and help her adventure into it.

7. Isolation

Isolation – it sounds like a strange idea, but with the hustle and bustle and demands of every day life, sometimes all she wants is some time with you away from it all. Hire a cabin in the middle of nowhere, get some supplies and hide away from the world together.

8. Lingerie

If you want something that shows her you still think she’s sexy, select something equally as sexy to give to her. Lingerie can make a woman feel sensual and special, so find her something that covers the bits she doesn’t like, highlights the bits she does and then let her show it off to you!

It's Time 2 Get Your Sexy Back!!

The payoff for a good, healthy sex life is enormous, both for yourself and your relationship.
While sexual intimacy only takes up about 10 percent of a relationship in terms of time and energy, the payoff for a good sex life is tenfold, both for yourself and your relationship. But for many, the quality of their sex life is the first thing that starts to wan once they have settled in for a long haul. Maybe this is because the novelty has worn off; maybe this is because you’ve run out of new positions and ideas; maybe this is because it gets easy to take for granted that your mate will be there tomorrow if you have more energy or desire then. Regardless, it takes a personal and relational commitment to keep your sex life alive and healthy. So if you’ve been feeling a lack of luster in your sex life, here are some things to consider.

First, having a healthy and satisfying sex life enhances you in many ways. It relieves stress, promotes emotional and psychological well-being, releases lots of feel good hormones, supports physical health, and creates more intimacy and love within a committed relationship. Can’t beat that.

Second, there is no one right way to define a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship. You and your partner are the ones who will need to define that for yourselves. Conflict occurs in relationships when two people have different and often opposing needs and ideas. The challenge is for you and your partner to sit down with each other and find a definition that works toward nourishing and satisfying the needs of your relationship. If you approach the conflict from this perspective you will avoid settling into a power struggle of whose individual needs get met when and how. Finding a rhythm that works for the needs of the relationship will most likely end up satisfying both partners. And remember, your and your relationship’s needs will shift throughout a lifetime.


Third, it is not your partner’s responsibility to make you feel sexy. It is yours. Feeling sexy and gaining the benefits from a vital sex life starts with you. Do what you need to do to feel sexy. Take responsibility for your own sexual health. Take the initiative to spice things up. Be the seducer if you are typically not; allow yourself to be seduced if you typically don’t. Taking responsibility for your sexual health requires you to take responsibility for your self-care—physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.

Fourth, it is also your responsibility to make your partner feel sexy. That will look different for different people. Find out what your partner likes; let him know he still turns you on; let her know she’s still lights up the room. Understand that making your partner feel sexy begins outside of the bedroom; it starts with how you treat each other day in and day out. It comes out of the daily care and attention you provide for each other.


Fifth, make sex a priority. The benefits are worth it. It helps dissolve pettiness and pickiness. The dinner dishes left in the sink won’t bother you as much; the clothes left on the floor will go unnoticed and the fact that your spouse forgot to walk the dog once again, may not turn out to be a big deal. Instead you may find yourself doing the dishes for your spouse or walking the dog yourself without resentment. You may even find yourself wanting to do that something special for your mate as a surprise. You may find you have some extra energy, a glow about you, and a feeling of being in love once again.

Sixth, remember that life has its ups and downs and so will your sex life. Children will be born, family deaths will ensue, illnesses will occur. Know that if life is getting in the way today, this will pass. There will come a time when you can get your sexy back. So be patient and understanding with yourself and your partner when these times come around. Go back to working as a team, focusing on how best to meet the relationship’s needs given what stressors and circumstances are working on the relationship at the moment. Or better yet, incorporate some intimacy as a means to help support each other as you move through the transition.

Last, physical intimacy does not need to be fireworks every time. Holding each other, kissing, or even talking can provide the same benefits as passionate and hot sex. True intimacy includes the physical, but is not limited by it. Explore new ways to express and deepen your intimacy. Go beyond the sexual experience and you just may find a whole new world waiting for you. And remember to have fun!

5 Sexual Faux Pas

What's worse than when you’re in the heat of the moment & your partner does something so unnerving?
By Kelly Rouba, GalTime.com
Since it first aired a few weeks ago, a TLC's Virgin Diaries has created quite a stir. For those who haven't seen it, the show followed the lives of several individuals hoping to meet that special someone to whom they'd finally lose their virginity. Perhaps the most captivating (in an awkward sort of way) among those interviewed was a couple on the verge of tying the knot.

Hoping to find bliss on their wedding night, the newlyweds soon learned that sex isn't always orgasmic. In reality, most "sexcapades" fall short for one reason or another and in this case, the wife admitted her first time was painful and not what she expected.


While that's not unusual, what's worse is when you're in the heat of the moment and your partner does something so completely unnerving-something so jarring-that you just want to crawl under the sheets and disappear.

The list of sexual faux pas we all want to avoid can be endless (from passing gas to calling our lover the wrong name), so we've asked relationship expert and founder of dating consultancy www.sittinginatree.com Stacie Ikka to narrow it down by offering her unique perspective on what she considers the most offensive.

Related: 3 Mistakes Women Make in the Bedroom
1. Expecting your lover to be a mind-reader
"I personally don't subscribe to the concept of someone being 'bad in bed," Ikka says. "Sure, some people understand better than others how to please a potential partner. However, to say someone is 'bad in bed,' I think, is entirely unfair."

Ikka cautions, "Many (people) are quick to dismiss an initial physical attraction and that elusive 'chemistry' when the electricity doesn't translate into amazing sex in the bedroom. But, what is often missing is communication. You can't expect your partner to know what turns you on and how to please you, especially if it's a new partner. In a healthy relationship, the sex actually gets better over time, as you get to know each other and feel comfortable communicating your sexual needs, desires, and preferences."

2. Being a selfish lover

"(Sex) isn't always about reaching orgasm," Ikka says, noting, "This is about showing a genuine interest in pleasing your partner and communicating with them on an intimate
level. In a healthy relationship, there is a natural give-and-take that doesn't feel like either party is keeping score."

3. Revealing too much too soon

"Although communication, lack of judgment, open-mindedness, spontaneity, and experimentation go a long way in a healthy sexual relationship, revealing too much, too soon may scare your partner away," Ikka warns. "It's best to ease into kink, fetish, fantasy, and adventure slowly and cautiously-and only when you feel that the foundation of the overarching relationship is one built on trust and emotional safety."

4. Using sex as a weapon (i.e. a double-edged sword)

"Some people withhold sex as punishment or engage in sexual activities they may not normally be comfortable with to please their partners. Both scenarios are likely to create resentment, an environment of distrust, and can erode the intimacy that may have initially been present."

Related: Is it OK to 'Fake It'?
5. Faking an orgasm


"I know it's a popular practice, and I understand why we do it, but if you're looking to have an ongoing, satisfying, and authentic relationship with your partner, it's best to teach them how to help you attain orgasm rather than misleading them and then feeling dissatisfied yourself."

The Type Of Sex That All Men Love

One-hundred percent of men love when you "get into it" in bed, and other Tokii survey findings.
With Valentine's Day around the corner, we're sure you were pondering life's ultimate question: How does gender affect our desire and need for sex?

All right, perhaps you weren't actively wondering about that particular topic, but the divide between the sex drives of males and females is absolutely worth exploring (as evidenced by the popularity of Sex and the City). Though Carrie B. was fine with musing, "I couldn't help but wonder…" and asking strangely-phrased questions about intimacy, our friends at Tokii were a bit more proactive. They surveyed their users and found some note-worthy results. Grab your notebooks, people, this info may come in handy.

It starts with a smooch. A little bit of lip locking never hurt anyone; in fact, it's helped many a person seal the deal for sex. Fifty-seven percent of men and 48 percent of women say their absolute favorite form of foreplay is a kiss. The best place to smooch for sexual stimulation? It's all about necking it, baby—62 percent of women and 40 percent of men list the neck as their favorite erogenous zone of the body.


All men agree… It's not often you read survey results to see that all men agreed on something. But those surveys must not have been asking about mind-blowing sex. Tokii found that 100 percent of guys believed sex is exceptional when their partner gets "really into it." Fifty-five percent of women said the same. Of course, getting into it can mean different things for different people—perhaps trying a new position, offering some verbal feedback or dabbling in a role-playing game—so it's best to discuss with your Valentine what you're both looking for.

Sex for stress relief? Of course, sex isn't always the result of a carnal need for intercourse. Forty-five percent of women have sex when they're feeling sad or stressed. Interestingly, only five percent of women say they achieve intimacy with a person by connecting sexually. Meanwhile, only 18 percent of men seek sex when they're sad, but 85 percent of men crave it when they're stressed.

The Secret To A Better Relationship

Unhappy with your relationships? Here's the likely culprit, and how to fix it...
Unhappy with your relationships?

Here's the likely culprit, and how to fix it... you need to strengthen your personal boundaries.

Strong personal boundaries give you the freedom to say yes to what you want and no to what you don’t want, despite the risk of displeasing others. What a concept, huh? (The irony is the more you try to please others, the less you succeed. Nobody likes a people pleaser.) You’ll automatically upgrade your relationships and improve your life overall.


Having weak boundaries will dis-empowers you and disrespects those around you. They show up in a number of ways:

* The inability to say no.
* The fear of displeasing someone.
* The tendency to rescue others.
* The expectation of being rescued.
* Not expressing your true feelings.
* Not getting paid what you should.
* Attracting people who take advantage of you.
* Allowing outside opinions to determine your self-worth.
* Feeling like a victim.
* Feeling obligated, indebted.
* Trying to change someone else.

When we were children, we HAD to please our parents and teachers to survive. We needed to learn how to bond, how to read reactions, how to compromise. These are not skills to give up. This is where we learn the empathy and compassion that makes relationship possible.

Problems arise when, as adults, we’re unconsciously ruled by these needs to please, bond, or compromise. We’re operating out of fear more than love. When we’re acting from unconscious impulses we give up our ability to choose responsibly, and we become victims and victimizers.

We all have areas in our lives where our boundaries are nice and strong, and other areas where our boundaries get weaker. (The higher the stakes, the stronger the likelihood is that fear will come in and weaken our boundaries.) The easiest way to check the strength of your personal boundaries is to ask yourself: “How free do I feel here to say what I feel and to ask for what I want?”

The bottom line is people treat you how you allow them to treat you. If you put up with abuse, YOU’RE ABUSING YOURSELF. Setting new boundaries is like working with muscles that haven’t been used; they feel awkward and weak at first. You may have some false starts as you learn to play a new game. Keep flexing.

You’ll be tested. If you’re the type who did everything for everybody in the past, those people you taught to rely on you may resent having the rules changed without their consent. You trained them to expect one thing; now you can retrain them to expect something else. Practice consistency.

If you’ve been taken care of all your life and the rules are changed on you… ouch! You get to grow up fast. You’ll feel better on the other side, knowing you can take care of yourself.

Eventually, as your personal boundaries get stronger, the negative charge around these changes goes away. What used to be a fight becomes the way things are naturally. It’s effortless.

Take a look at your current life.
* Where are your boundaries strongest?
* Where are they weakest? Why?
* What small step can you take to be more honest and authentic in that area of your life?

When setting limits in any area of your life, you’ll increase your self confidence. You’ll attract better relationships. You’ll enjoy more respect and success, and your life will rock.

Sexiest Language Known To Man

Wanna have hot women dripping all over you? You gotta speak their language (it's not what you think)
What's the sexiest language to you? Is it French? . . . Italian? . . . Maybe you have a thing for the way Spanish rolls off the tongue?

Whatever your answer to the question, you're probably wrong either way. As you read every word on this page, you're going to discover a life-altering concept that will give you a ridiculously unfair advantage over most men in the dating world: the sexiest language isn't French, it isn't Italian, and it isn't Spanish (although I love hearing Spanish speaking women talk) . . . it's body language.

Pull up a chair and hear me out . . .


Years and years of research show that body language is by far the most vital aspect of communication. Knowing how to effectively read and display proper body language will transform us into master communicators possessing god-like powers with women . . . and that, my friends, is sexy!

According to Kevin Hogan, world-renowned author and expert on this subject, two paramount elements of body language are physical features (both changeable and unchangeable) and gestures.

Physical Features

"The first impression is the only impression."

We’ve all heard this time and time again, I'm sure. But that doesn't make it any less true. Really, it makes it even truer. There is no way around the fact that what we look like speaks to everyone in the environment.


Just think of the first thing that goes off in your mind when you see an attractive woman. You probably don't say, "Wow, I love how she carries that purse," or "The way she pushes that grocery cart is sexy as hell to me." Instead, it's more like, "Damn, she's kinda cute!"

The point here is that most dating decisions are made with physical attractiveness at the top of the checklist. This holds true for both men and women, although women place less significance on physical features.

Hogan states that 89% of first dates progress to second dates because of physical attractiveness . . . that's a huge percentage!

Now, there are ways that you can change your physical attractiveness, if you have the paper of course. But, for those of us who don’t have unlimited funds, we’re not SOL, so don’t worry.

There are other, less expensive ways that we can enhance our physical attractiveness, and ultimately our body language.

One way could be to make sure that we look our absolute best whenever we step out. And I'm not talking about getting suited-and-booted every day. But we should always dress to the occasion.

What I am talking about is our upkeep and hygiene.

Keep our hair clean and neat (facial hair too). Keep our bodies clean. Look respectable at the very least.

Fair enough?



Gestures

The gesture that plays the biggest role in body language is definitely eye contact.
Let me explain what I mean by eye contact.

Eye contact isn't just gazing mindlessly into someone else’s eyes . . . that’s kinda creepy. The area within the eye-nose triangle is where we want to focus most of the eye contact.

As a general rule, eye contact should be maintained about 80% of the time with your date. The best way to do this is to keep contact for 7 to 14 seconds and then away for about 3 to 6 seconds.

The most powerful indicator of liking is realized while using eye contact, and that indicator is pupil expansion.

That's right. Pupil size growth is the best way to know if the person whose eyes we’re looking into actually likes us.

When a person finds another attractive or appealing in some way, the size of their pupils literally grows.

Smiling is another fantastic predictor of liking. As a matter of fact, we should genuinely smile as much as possible while on a date . . . this does NOT mean have "pudding face" all night!

Smiling displays happiness and makes us more pleasing to be around. It's crucial to note that I said genuinely smile, because anyone and everyone can spot fake smiles when they are right in front of them.

It's also largely important that we know what to do with our hands while we’re out on a date. Our hands will speak wonders about your comfort level when with someone.

Let's say you're out to dinner with a woman you've been eager to date for a while now. You're so nervous and clueless, you start to fidget and play with your fingers . . . five minutes later, you start biting your nails. This will make her very uncomfortable.

If you can't keep your hands separate or if you don't know what the hell to do with them, just cup the right hand downward into the left one.



Just imagine how much more smooth and charismatic we all can be with brilliant body language. Whether you have an American Express Card Black Card, or no credit card, increasing physical appearance is well within your means. You pair that with proper use of gestures and you're golden. It's not nearly as hard as it sounds . . . I promise.

Pay attention to women’s' body language and respond with precision . . . you've got it in you, I know it.

Body language can turn Fogel into McLovin (if you haven't seen the movie Superbad, then you probably won't get the joke ;-) ).

7 Negative Things About Being A Man

Being a man is supposed to be a lot like being James Bond, but here are 7 burdens of a Y chromosome!

The cultural stereotype is that it’s great to be a man. Not only do we have shorter lines at the rest room, but we make scads more money and can reach things on higher shelves in the marketplace. We don’t have to deal with double standards or glass ceilings, and we’re raised to have confidence and high self-esteem, so we can all comfortably act like the Sean Connery version of James Bond. Cooly knock off a few bad guys in the afternoon, then drive our Astin Martins to our expensive hotel in Monte Carlo, where beautiful movie actresses are waiting to throw themselves into our arms.

But in truth, it ain’t like that down here in Kansas.

Here are some simple facts about what it’s really like to be a regular good ole boy:


1. People want to hurt you. I have less than fond memories of the black eyes and swollen lips I suffered at the hands of various bullies as a young man. Or the nervous feeling in my stomach all afternoon when some would-be tough guy challenged me with the classic line: “After school, punk!” When I should have been studying for my math exams in high school, my mind was often filled instead with thoughts about how to avoid some bully in one of my classes, and whether the best strategy was to stare him down or make a self-diminishing joke, allowing him to establish his dominance at the expense of my acting submissive. But except for a minor injuries and years of anxiety, I got off easy. If you go hang around almost any emergency room in any reasonable sized city, you will see a steady stream of young males staggering in, or being wheeled in with knife wounds, gunshot wounds, gashes from broken bottles, or fractured skulls from baseball bats aimed at their heads. And as Martin Daly and Margo Wilson pointed out in their classic book Homicide, crime statistics from any year taken at random, from any society throughout history, reveal that men are many times more likely to be murdered than are women. The perpetrators are more likely to be males than females, but even when the usually more peaceful sex decides to murder, her victim is much more likely to be a man.
A couple of decades ago, Virgil Sheets and I asked college students whether they’d ever considered committing a homicide. A surprising majority had. And who were the fantasized victims of those homicidal fantasies? When men or women thought of killing someone, the intended victim was usually a man. Some of those men who get beat up and killed, you might argue, deserved it – wife-beaters or bullies are in fact more likely to get killed by their self-defending victims. But most homicides and assaults do not involve self-defense, and many involve victims who are completely blameless. I was once purposely bumped by a muscular little guy in a bar, and chose to ignore it; but he was looking for a fight, but the next guy at the bar was a big motorcyclist, who told him to watch where he was going, for which said biker was quickly beaten and kicked into a bloody mess by the pushy (and apparently tough) young punk.

2. You have problems controlling your impulses. For years I taught students about psychology disorders in my classes on general and abnormal psychology. In preparing my lectures, I discovered that men are overwhelming represented in several diagnostic categories, sometimes called “impulse control disorders” – predilictions that lead to alcohol and drug abuse, sexual misbehaviors of various kinds, violent outbursts, delinquency, problems holding down a job, and an overrepresention in almost all categories of criminal activity (with consequent overrepresentation in arrest records and prison terms. Prostitution is one of the few crimes for which women are more likely to be arrested, but that’s likely because women are much less likely to pay for sex, a topic to which I’ll turn to next.
3. For a good portion of your life, you have an irrationally and self-destructively high desire for sex. By a “good portion” of your life, I mean two things: broadly, several decades between the teens and the fifties, and more proximately, many times a day during those long decades. One researcher found that among men between the ages of 18 and 25, fully 50 percent had thought about sex in the last five minutes. Among men between 26 and 55, “only” 25 percent were unable to go 5 minutes without thinking about sex. At the ripe old age of 63, I have a lot more productive thinking time (I often have whole half-hours uninterrupted by these distracting thoughts). When Kinsey did his classic surveys of sexual behavior, he found that men masturbated more frequently (only 5 percent said they never masturbated, and some people wonder if they were telling the truth). Kinsey also found that men were dangerously polysexual – if I’m recalling correctly, 50 percent of guys who grew up on farms had had sex with a nonhuman partner (cows and sheep must be more attractive than the squirrels and English sparrows we had in New York). Then there’s that rather shocking classic study by Clark and Hatfield which involved the line: “Excuse me, I’ve seen you around campus and find you very attractive. Would you like to go to bed with me.” (controls were asked if they’d like to go on a date). Around 50 percent of the men said yes to the date, but over 70 percent of college men approached by a total stranger were willing to go to bed her. Those who turned her down were both thankful for the offer, and apologetic about saying no.

4. If you are heterosexual, those sexual partners you desire so much do not reciprocate your urgency. Clark and Hatfield also had college men approach college women on campus using the same lines. The guys were reasonably attractive, as judged by the fact that over 50 percent of the women said “yes” to the request for a date. But the number saying yes to the sexual offer was precisely zero (the study was done twice, both before and after the AIDs epidemic, and the number was zero before as well as after). I heard a talk recently which revealed that it’s not all about sex at all – the researcher discovered that if women were not afraid of men, if women found men attractive, and if women thought they’d have more fun in bed with a strange man, the sex difference would go away! The researcher seemed to take the findings as a blow to what she called “essentialism.” Perhaps that’s good news for Brad Pitt. But unfortunately, most real women essentially find most real men rather scary, unattractive, and unsexy, and they consequently say “No.”
5. You feel compelled to make money, and then to throw it away in public. Men do make higher incomes than women, but it’s not just because of discrimination against women and glass ceilings. It’s also in part because men are more willing to take stressful and dangerous jobs, work long hours, and ignore their friends and families in pursuit of the mighty buck. When men are in mating frame of mind, they’re more likely to ignore possible losses, and go all out for the cash. They’re also more likely to steal, cheat, and engage in various criminal activities for money (from small-time drug dealers to big- time Wall Street swindlers, Y chromosomes are the rule rather than the exception). When people in a study by Jill Sundie and colleagues were asked to think of someone they know who likes to shop, they were more likely to think of a woman. But when they were asked to think of someone they knew who spent their money in a conspicuous way, they thought of a man. And consistent with number 4 above, mating motivation makes that worse, when men are thinking about attractive women, they are more likely to throw their money away, in ways designed to say “Look at me.”
Indeed, the desire to find mates inspires men to show off in various ways, to take various kinds of risks, and to make a fool out of themselves in divers ways. I’ve discussed some of the research on this sad phenomenon in previous posts.
6. You have a hard time getting social support for all these problems. Men prefer women as friends, perhaps because women are more likely to express social support and to talk about relationships instead of cars and baseball scores (see, for example, Barbee et al., 1993, or Bank & Hansford, 2000). But once again, women don’t reciprocate men’s Platonic interests in friendship either. Women also prefer other women as friends. So it can be lonely out there amongst the gangs of other male hooligans looking to steal your baseball cards and then beat you up.

7. And then you die (younger). Even if you get through your extended adolescence without dying in jail, killing yourself during some show-off stunt, or getting yourself shot for flirting with some other guy’s girlfriend, you still die younger. Good old testosterone, that same beloved hormone that inspires irrational competition, foolhardy risk, and sexual obsession, also shortens your life. And it gets a boost from all the extra drinking, smoking, and other self-abuses that accompany its direct effects.


If you’re a woman, you may point out that it’s no party having to put up with those sexually obsessed angry competitive show-offs. I’d agree that’s a reasonable argument. But at least you get to live a few extra years, in peace.

The saddest part is that I didn’t just make this all up. There’s hard data on how hard it is to be a man other than James Bond. Below is a small sample of the references documenting the sad plight of those of us handicapped with a Y chromosome.

8 Ways 2 Win Your Girls Heart Forever

Men are different, They don't approach relationships with the same skills and techniques that women
The Secrets of Happily Married Men "Manly men rest assured: You can hope to become a better Husband without having to get in touch with your feminine side. . . . Lively and entertaining, this broad guidebook provides Haltzman's insights illuminated by Anecdotes from his Online discussion forum for married men."

Psychology Today "Haltzman . . . launches his eight strategies with remarkable vigor. More important, they are extraordinarily well fleshed out and convincingly supported with useful 'to do' lists and a multitude of examples. They will no doubt prove helpful to many men struggling to build a happy marriage."

Publisher's Weekly "Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist and Brown University professor, has been studying marriages good and bad for a long time. . . . View Marriage as your most important task, Haltzman urges men, and pursue success as you would anything else that matters."


Men are different, Dr. Haltzman says. They don't approach relationships with the same skills and techniques that women do and viva la difference. Dr.Haltzman therefore lays out eight ways, tasks, proven techniques which men have revealed in confidential correspondence to his highly successful work, including

The First Way : Make Your Marriage Your Job,

The Second Way : Know Your Wife,

The Third Way : Be Home Now,

The Fourth Way : Expect Conflict and Deal With It,

The Fifth Way : Learn to Listen,

The Sixth Way : Aim to Please,

The Seventh Way : Understand the Truth About Sex,

The Eighth Way : Introduce Yourself, and finally, Celebrate Your Love

Within each of these steps, he provides both specific analysis, guidelines and techniques based on male biology, neuro-science, brain differences, unique developmental stages from youth to seniority. To illustrate these ideas in action, he's included wonderful true stories, anecdotes, and confessions from the website.

How To Get The Guy You Want

Everything you will EVER need to know!
Have you ever wondered what men really? What do they look for in a woman? What gets their attention, what turns them on and what turns them off? In this article and my within my own personal guide (How To Get The Man You Want) I will share some really useful tips.



1. Shower him with compliments. Yes, it's a fact that men protect and take care of their egos. But this is not the purpose why you'll be giving him compliments. You should be doing this to show him that you appreciate his good qualities. Not only will your man feel more confident, he will also feel that you're making him better. Guys who consider going into a serious relationship find women who make them become a better person. So, whenever your man does something good, commend him for that. Appreciate his looks by complimenting his fashion. When you're out with your friends, let him hear how you brag about him. If he gets promoted on his job, express how much you're proud of his accomplishments.


2. Be his friend. You're wrong if you think that men are just after your goodies. As much as they are sexual beings, guys also have emotions. They are not naturally outspoken about how they feel and what they are going through. Find a moment and spark an intimate conversation with your guy. He will certainly appreciate your effort of getting to know him better. Make him feel that you truly care. Men trust their friends. If they sense that you can be a friend who would listen, you will earn their trust. At some point, you can be his lover, but also always be his friend.

3. Really do not press him to devote himself only to you, too quickly. Just as much as you dislike to have to wait, you need to go his tempo as well. Never create the faux paux of pushing him to offer the "commitment chat" too early on. Steer clear of inquiring with him exactly where your romantic relationship will go or if he could be seriously interested in you. Allow him become more available about the subject when he is prepared. The harder you force him to commit, the much more likely that he will steer clear of you all together. On the other hand, don't be a push over either, know when to call it quits.


What do guys REALLY want?

When it comes to flirting, dating, sex and love, what do they really want? As if the world of dating wasn’t confusing enough, every time you turn on the TV, read a magazine or hop online you get different advice.

Girls, should you play hard to get or shouldn’t you? Is making the first move taking away the thrill of the chase? What do guys really think about paying for the first date and do you owe him one if you accept? Is it ok to have sex on the first date or will he see you as nothing but a booty call?