Just Keep It Natural

Keep It Natural

Getting a number close is a great accomplishment. As we’ve seen, though, it’s no guarantee of an actual date—and certainly no guarantee that you’ll see action later. Things aren’t entirely out of your hands, however; how you conduct yourself in the follow-up will in large part determine a girl’s response.

Let’s look at some of the options you have for communicating during follow-up—and the advantages and dangers of each.
Text Game
Questions about texting a girl come up time and time again when I’m training guys. I used to be the worst possible texter, with most of my numbers flaking. Now my text game is very solid; it doesn’t ever let me down. Text game is actually pretty simple, and if you follow my rules for texting you should notice a big difference right away. If you don’t want that prized number to turn into a flake, pay attention:

✓✓ Use only one question mark per message.
✓✓ Your messages, unless scripted, should be shorter than hers.
✓✓ Use a “fire-and-forget” strategy—send the message, put the phone down, and go do something else.
✓✓ If she texts you back, take your time before responding. Don’t rush right over to the phone. Take at least as long to reply as she did.
✓✓ When you write a message, leave it as a draft for ten minutes; then go back and read it again—and make sure it’s not embarrassing!
✓✓ If she asks a question (like “How’s it going?”) to which you can give only a boring response—don’t answer it.
✓✓ If she asks multiple questions, don’t answer them all.
✓✓ The best time to send a text message is when you’re busy or on your way somewhere. It shouldn’t look like you spent too long thinking about what to say. It should look like you finally got around to it and are answering nonchalantly.
✓✓ Don’t use xoxo’s or smiley faces . . . ever! Even if she does.
✓✓ Never send two texts in a row within forty-eight hours without a response.
✓✓ If she doesn’t reply, wait at least five days before trying again.
✓✓ Don’t try to arrange the date on the first text; this is usually instant death!!!

Phone Game
Some guys prefer getting on the phone. My friend and longtime wingman Anthony P. is one of those. But it’s a lot tougher to talk to someone when you aren’t face-to-face, so when you get her number, it needs to be as solid as possible. If you call after a number close and she answers enthusiastically—it’s on. With a couple of minutes’ chat, you can probably set up a date pretty easily. If you call and she’s a bit cold or noncommittal—“Who? Oh yeah . . . I remember. . . umm . . . hi”—try to be as interesting as possible......

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