It Is Never OK To Date Your Friends' Ex....

I give the different outlooks, opinions, and circumstances.... But I must note that I personally believe, there's so many other people in the world. It is better to not go that route and avoid what could become a friend ending situation or very uncomfortable.....

"We don't own people; we just share our time with them."

One of the eternal questions that plague men all over the world is, what are the rules about dating your friend’s ex? Is there some kind of man code that says that once a woman has been claimed by a member of your pack there is no way another can ever date her down the road? Is there a time frame from when they dated that makes her totally off limits to you? Let’s say they dated for six months. Does that mean you need to wait around another six until you can do anything? Until he has another girlfriend? And what happens if this is your best friend’s girlfriend? What are the rules then?

Let’s set the scenario: Your friend is dating an amazing girl. (And I’m talking about a real friend here, not a friend of a friend, a work friend or someone you see around who goes to all the same events as you.) The whole time your friend was dating this great woman, you always made sure to tell your buddy how lucky he was to have a woman like her. Every time you hung out with them in a group you guys really got along with each other. She was so cool. And all you kept thinking was, “Why can’t I meet somebody like her?”

Can You Date Your Friend's Ex?
But now you’re in a predicament -- they’ve broken up. To make things worse, she was the one who broke things off with your friend. Maybe he called you and told you; maybe you saw her out and, in the middle of another great conversation, she brought it up. So what do you do at this point? Is is OK to call her? Or maybe she’s started calling you.

Now that she’s single, you’re really thinking about this woman a lot. You start to develop feelings for her. You guys talk with each other and she tells you she’s starting to have feelings for you, too. At the same time, your friend still talks about her and wonders if he did something wrong to ruin the relationship.

Now you’re in one of the biggest predicaments of your entire social life. You really want to start dating your friend's ex, and she wants to go out with you. You want to start seeing her, and you have a very strong feeling that you two are really going to hit it off. What do you do in this situation?



RELATED VIDEO: How To Date Your Friend's ExHow To Handle Your Friend's Ex
There are a lot of guys out there who truly feel that once they've dated a woman she is off limits to all of his friends -- no matter how long it’s been since they broke up. This is ridiculous thinking. We don’t own people; we just share our time with them. It’s your job to make the relationship that you have with her a great experience, and when that relationship comes to an end, you need to let her go. You had your time together and hopefully you created some great memories, but now it’s not your place to try to change and control anyone’s future or the way they want to live their lives.

I am somebody who truly believes that people are not possessions. I don’t care if it’s a casual acquaintance, I don’t care if it’s your best friend in the whole world, and I don’t care who broke up with whom. If I break up with someone -- and I have broken up and been broken up with a lot -- I have no problem with any of my friends dating my ex, falling in love with her and even marrying her. A great relationship, and great chemistry between two people, can be rare to come by.

If you’re feeling a connection with someone, I firmly believe that you need to take every potential opportunity for finding a great person to be with. And if you’re the bystander, if you’re fuming because your friend is dating your ex who broke up with you, you need to realize that people are not your possessions. You may have shared something special with her in the past -- and that’s something to cherish -- but now it’s time to give your friend and your ex the freedom to do what they want without you in the picture......


What To Do
So, if you have feelings for your best friend’s ex, here is what you need to do. First you need to confirm your feelings with her. Sit down with her, clear the air and tell her exactly how you feel. You know she feels the same way about you as you do about her. Make sure you are both on the same page with each other. Then you need to make sure you are both on the same page about your friend. Tell her, “We need to talk about how to approach this situation with my friend. I don’t want to lose his friendship, but I certainly don’t want it to stop me from acting on my feelings for you.”

You need to talk this out with her. Both of you know your friend well, from different points of view, and together you will be able to come up with an honest way of telling him so that he will not be angry or hurt. Once you’ve had that conversation with your friend’s ex, you’ll need to sit down with him. Depending on how close you are, this can be one of the toughest things in the world -- you need to have “the talk.”

Breaking The News To Your Friend
When you sit down with him, be truthful and tell him what your friendship with him means to you. For most men, really communicating that to another guy is the hardest part, but you need to get that out there and let him know that you respect him. Then you’ll need to ask him how he would feel if you started dating his ex. You really need to be honest and tell him everything. You need to tell him how you feel and whether you’re serious about her. He may be fine with it. He may have to sit and think about it. He may be upset and say, “F*ck you. Absolutely not.” He may not want to see you for a while. In time, though, he is going to understand.

He’s not with her anymore, so give him his space if he needs it. He is out there dating, having fun and sleeping with other women. Eventually, he is going to get over it. Amazing women with whom you have incredible chemistry don't come around that often. You have every right and you owe it to yourself to pursue a relationship with her.

Depending on how close your friendship is, this may be one of the toughest situations of your life. You’ll need to display complete and total honesty with yourself and ask yourself how serious you are about it (it’s OK if you don’t know yet, but you need to be honest). You need to be honest with this new woman in your life and with your friend. This is going to be a tough lesson, but a valuable one. Your ability to have difficult conversations with two people you care about, knowing that those conversations won’t be safe or easy, will demonstrate what sort of a man you are........

Your Ex Wants Sex!! Is A Booty Call Ever OK?

The temptation to hook up can do you in. Is sex with an ex ever a good idea? 3 Ways To Know for Sure
"I am going to be in town for a couple of days and I would love to see you." the familiar voice said hopefully.

Instantly I am flooded with emotions both good and bad. We had been broken up for a few months and I had been trying to evict him from my mind ever since.

Unbidden, thoughts about him and how hot the sex was, how beautiful I felt when I was with him, how romantic it was to sip wine at sunset, had been running through my mind for weeks. My brief fling with him had been the most fun I'd had in years!


Now here he was, breezing back into my life and inviting me to reconnect. I knew my friends would be shocked that I was even considering it, so I didn't telling anyone he called. There were so many parts of our time together that were very good. Why did we break up anyway?

Does this ring a bell? This exact scenario happened for me several years ago and I chose to say no. It was an excruciating choice because the chemistry was ridiculous. (I would love to know why the wrong men can have such exciting chemistry...just not fair!) This is how it played out.

Gorgeous, exciting ex-flame is visiting my tiny apartment. Candles were lit, jazz was playing and he was doing his best to coax me into bed. "It is important to live in the moment," he said to me, "Do what feels good now."

My new interest in The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle not withstanding, somehow I knew he was pushing his agenda over my lackluster objections.

I was so tempted. He had asked me for a back massage which, of course, I agreed. I loved touching him and what harm could it do? Ha! As I rubbed the oil on his back, he kept gently encouraging me to respond to my natural arousal and seal the deal. What a pickle!

Somehow, in the middle of this highly charged situation, I said to myself first and then to him, "Wait a minute. Just hold up here. I want to think about what is right for me."

I went across the room, sat in a chair, closed my eyes and pleaded with my Inner Wisdom, "Please help me know what to do. I want this man but the red flags are waving madly! What should I do?"

I was hoping I would get a clear YES (dreamer!) or a clear no but what I got was the most amazing and calming answer.

"Whichever choice you make will be fine. You are going to be fine, no matter what."

I laughed outloud and told him what I heard. He laughed too. I am sure he was hoping my Inner Guidance said yes, but he was absolutely wonderful when I told him I decided no. He had made it clear to me that he was not interested in a relationship with me and as much as I wished I could change his mind,

I had to face the truth. Sex would be fun with him but I knew myself too well. I liked him more than that and a booty call would send me into weeks of obsession! Bottom line, I want to be loved more than anything. Love has to be primary.


What about you? Are you facing a similar situation? A dear friend of mine always used to quip "An ex is an ex for a reason" whenever I looked back at my ex-boyfriend. I would say the same to you. But, if you are not sure, here are three questions to ask yourself:

1. Do you feel a heart connection to this man? Do you really? Get quiet and allow the memories of your break up come back to you. On a scale of 1 to 10, how hurt and disappointed were you? If it is 6 or above. Stop for a moment and think about adding another disappointment to the mix. Does that work for you?

2. Are you obsessing about him? If you are, that is a symptom of an out of control mind. If you broke up, there was a reason for that. Jump into a new hobby or get outside and walk a couple of miles a day while listening to a book on tape. Take action to give your thirsty mind something to think about. An obsessive woman is not very attractive, not even to her friends.


3. What do your friends think? Trust your friends. Just like the Sex In The City girls, trust someone to talk to about this. Often your friends can see your situation more clearly. Yes, Carrie and Big got together, but that was a fairy tale. More times than not an ex is an ex for a reason and moving on is your best bet.

If you can't get him out of your mind, don't worry! There are lots of cool ways to occupy your mind while the next candidate comes across your path. Not to sound like my grandma but, there really are a lot of fish in the sea and there is someone out there for you.

If you are spending hours a day mooning over an ex, you sure can't put too much energy into thinking the thoughts that will attract that new man to you. Is that ok with you?

7 Tips For Getting Over An EX

Getting over your ex is rarely a quick and easy process, and it’s often complicated by all the things that the two of you still have in common, like friends, favorite hangouts, etc.. One of the toughest parts about trying to get over an ex is that your mind will hardly let you think about anything else...especially if you really liked the girl. It’s never easy, but if you follow these 7 tips for getting over your ex, you can forget the past, focus on your future and be back in the saddle in no time.


1. Avoid the places she hangs out at
Don't go to all your old favorite places or where she hangs out at. The whole point right now is getting over her, so visiting old places where you used to go will only remind you of her, not to mention her friends might be there and could certainly make you feel unwelcome. It’s a small price to pay for peace of mind.


2. Exercise and stay active
Exercising and staying active can create a better self-image, lead to more confidence and is scientifically proven to make people happier. Getting in shape is also a good way to boost your self-esteem, improve your mood and alleviate depression, and the distraction will help keep your mind off your recent breakup. And don’t forget: The gym is also a great place to meet new women.


3. Get rid of items that remind you of her
After a break up, it's important that you get rid of all the things that remind you of your ex as soon as possible because these little reminders can keep you trapped in the clutches of heartbreak. Throw away all of the Christmas and birthday gifts she gave you, photos of the two of you and love letters that she wrote you. The sooner you get all that junk out of your home the sooner you’ll get over her emotionally.


4. Hang out with your friends
Now that you’re single, this is the perfect time to reconnect with the buddies you left behind while you were in that committed relationship with a girlfriend who was always greedy for all of your attention. Not only will it be fun, but it will also be therapeutic because interacting with your people who care about you is one of the most effective forms of therapy.



5. Avoid contacting her
This is probably the most important thing you should do when getting over an ex, and as hard is may be go to without seeing and hearing from her, you're going to need to grit your teeth and struggle through it. Even if she gave you the old line about trying to stay friends, forget it. Don't call her, email her, text her or contact her in any way. If you work or go to school with her, try to avoid her whenever possible. Furthermore, avoid people who you know would share personal details of your conversations with them with your ex.


6. Remember the bad times with her
When you find yourself missing your ex in a weak moment, one of the best tricks to help you stick to your resolve is to make a list of all the reasons she was not the one for you. Write down what happened and how it made you feel, being clear about the things you never want to feel again. Then tell yourself, "This is the reality of what it was like with her, so why would I want to go back and torture myself again with this woman?"

7. Enjoy your newfound freedom
After a breakup, don't underestimate the importance of taking the time to learn more about yourself, how to recognize bad relationship signs, how you relate to others and the problems you need to work on. A breakup can signify a new beginning, so keep yourself busy and treat your breakup as if you just got out of jail. Exercise this newfound freedom by meeting new people or doing things that your ex didn't approve of (within reason).

Stay out until three in the morning, hop on a plane to Vegas with your best friend, or just sit on your couch and watch football all day. Take pleasure in all of those things that you couldn’t do as a boyfriend. Take the opportunity after a breakup to explore new interests and activities as you begin looking forward to finding the woman of your dreams.

Dating A Single Parent

Dating a Woman with a Child, or A Man with a Child.... Rules really apply both ways.... Both go in one and the same..... Dating a Single Parent can be a Challange.... Or may be thought to be a Challange.....

Few dating scenarios can prepare you for the challenge of dating a single mother. The mere fact that she is a mother should tell you that she has experience with men. The single mother is confident of her relationship needs and will tell you upfront what she expects and wants from you. If you are considering dating a single mother, there are a few things you should know.

First, you must realize that when dating single mothers, there is more to the equation than the two of you-there is a child or children to consider too. Dating single parents can be equally challenging for someone who has never had their own children as it is for single mothers. In single parenting, her child will be the main recipient of her love. Can you deal with second place in her life?


As you're learning how to date single moms, be prepared for some unusual questions which may be a little personal. These questions are perfectly normal, especially if the single mother you're with is planning on introducing you to her children. They need to know as much as possible about you and your life. On the other hand, there are some instances where single mothers are nothing more than desperate women looking for a man to be the father to their children, to help raise them and care for them, to pay the bills, and to give her freedom from the kids for awhile.

Talking about her ex-husband or father of her children shouldn't be seen as inappropriate as long as you only discuss the things you really need to know. You have a right to know if the ex-partner is still an active presence in her life, either as a custodial parent or friend or a deranged stalker, a jealous ex-husband or a deadbeat father who isn't living up to his responsibilities.

When dealing with her children, expect some resistance and even some resentment no matter how sincere and likeable you are. Children of single mothers may have a tremendous amount of anxiety about meeting their mother's new boyfriend and could hate you and see you are a threat to their father, whether you intend to be or not. Don't expect too much too soon from her children. Exercise patience and compassion from the beginning and give her some time to sit with her older children and tell them all how good you are to her.

There could be a significant reward to dating a single mother. She could end up as the most devoted and loving woman you ever meet. Dating a single mother may be a slow and steady process but well worth it in the end